I'll Always Love You
by Demons swim - Not drown
Summary: Suicidal!Reader x England. You finally decide to end your horrible life, expecting no one to care. But things go differently and some people come to show you that they do truly care about you. Will you change your mind and continue your life? Or will you just get on with it? Will Iggy confess his love? Will you accept Iggy? So many questions...


**My second fanfic! Yay! I haven't been writing much because I've been stuck in summer camp :( Anyways, trigger warning, I guess. Thank you to _Xion _for the positive review, glad you liked it! Slight point of view changes... I'm not good at point of view *hides in emo corner* M'kay, getting serious now: Hetalia= Hidekaz Himaruya and You= England****. ****I guess I'll let you get to reading the story now... Hope you enjoy! ^_^**

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I sighed as I shut off my phone. "I won't need this anymore…" I murmured as chucked my phone into the ocean. I smiled widely, today was the day I was finally going to find a place leave my hurt behind. The ocean was always beautiful to me, so mesmerizing. I remember my brother used to tell me old sailor stories while we would sit on the beach at midnight. Sometimes, if I was lucky, he would tell me old Greek mythology stories such as the Odyssey. Those were the days… Now these days I'm in high school, living hell as I call it. Teasing, bullying, verbal abuse, mental abuse, physical abuse. I was tired of it, it hurt way too much and I couldn't live with such vulgar feelings no longer. Anyways, I just sent a text to all my country-people _'friends' _before I got rid of my phone. I felt my smile drift away. I stood up and waved to the ocean, "Goodbye, my love." I said as I blew a kiss to the never ending water mass. I turned and walked away, it was 11 PM, I should be at my school in 30 minutes, then I would ultimately end it there.

England cursed under his breath as his phone went off indicating he had received a message. He sighed deeply as he grabbed his phone. "Y/N… I'll read it then." The Brit muttered as he opened the text and began to read it out loud, imagining your beautiful soft voice speaking those words:

"_Hello, I hope I'm not being a nuisance and disturbing you. I would merely like to inform you that I'm planning on ending my life tonight at 12. I would like to invite you to come witness it; it will happen at my school. Please make sure to be here at 12 am sharp, I won't wait at all for any reasons. If you chose not to come I understand, I wasn't very important anyways. Well, see you at the final moments of my life._

_ Your suicidal freak: F/N fuckin' L/N"_

England blinked in confusion, having to read the message over another time. "Dear god…" He said loudly jumping out of bed and getting dressed. Suddenly his phone rang, "Hello?" He asked annoyed. "Iggy! Dude….did Y/N send you a text!? I'm freaking out dude, Bro we have to go save her!" America said all in one very rushed breath. "I-I did receive a message, America. Yes, I'm actually on my way to her school right now…. I'll meet you there." England said in a very worrisome tone. "Alrighty… bye then" America said trying to end the conversation fast, hearing the urgency in England's voice. The Englishman threw his phone on the table and quickly ran out the door.

"I'm America! Alfred Fuckin' Jones! I'm so going to be the hero!" America shouted buttoning his jacket up. Tony just looked at him. "Dude, can you send a text to everyone… and make it seem legit too!" America asked Tony just as he flew out the door to his car. Tony grabbed the phone, within 1 minute he had the text sent out to everyone. That's because Tony's one hell of an alien!

"_Ayee ya guys! It's me, the hero! I just wanted to tell you guys that you all have to go to Y/N's school. Legit she's going to do it! We have to stop it, dudes! So meet me there ASAP!_

"Iggy bro! Is she here?" America asked as he ran up to England. England sighed, "No. Not yet…" He said nervously. "Man, dude, I nearly jizzed my pants reading her text!" America said rubbing his hands together, trying to create heat. "I guess I almost did the same…" England mumbled. "Hey look, some of the others are getting here!" America shouted as he waved to the figures in the distance.

I walked up the stairs to the roof of the auditorium. Jesus, I never realized how tall that damn building was! I sighed and pulled the gun out of my pocket. "You'll finally be put to use" I said smiling. According to my watch, it was 11:57. I walked up to the edge of the roof, to my surprise… people were there; The Allies (fuckin' Canada too), The Axis, Romano, Spain and Belarus… but she was only there stalking Ivan (major stalker status! O_o).They all looked up at me in horror (minus Belarus who was nonchalantly there). "Y/N! Don't do it, love!" England shouted. Wow, he never said 'love', even when I begged him to. "It's nice of you to show up, Arthur… But tell me why I shouldn't." I said blankly. England looked down, not responding. "Because we love you, aru!" China shouted. "Exactly dude! And you're one of my bestest friends!" America yelled, "That's not a word, Alfred…" England mumbled keeping his head down. "Ve! Please come down!" Italy shouted in tears. I shook my head 'no'. "Your too beautiful to do this, mon ami!" France said holding his arms out for me. "You say that to every slut…" I said coldly. "Ragazza… stop being so damn stubborn!" Romano snapped. "I know how it feels! We can help each other, Y/N! It's not worth it, trust me…" Canada shouted loudly, tears forming in his soft eyes; the other countries shocked at his loudness. "What does that mean Mattie! I didn't know you tried this!" America said flailing his arms in the air. "Maybe if you didn't act like I was invisible you would of noticed" Canada said turning away from him, leaving America gaping. "Hermosa Y/N… Please, Vosotros neceaseis a ti!" Spain yelled, his voice cracking. "Da, and you don't have to become one with me… You're like a beautiful sunflower, too innocent to be spoiled. Please get down…" Russia said. "Beautiful analogy Ivan!" I said sarcastically while clapping. "Y/N, put the damn gun down… Your too strong for this, your one of the strongest people I know." Germany said. I crossed my arms and looked at my watch, 12:02. Fuck. I put the gun up to my head. "No! I love you! I can't lose you! I can't lose another person!" England shouted sobbing hysterically. I put the gun down, the tension easing up. I checked the bullets, three. Then I put the gun back to my head, causing the tension to grow once more. "Wait, Y/N. I like you, don't do something stupid like this… we could be friends." Belarus finally spoke up. "Thank you all for your sad attempts!" I shouted as I pulled the trigger, Everything around me went black. Black, my new favorite color. Black, the last thing I saw.

_~~XxXx-Le Awesome time skip of 1 month given to you by Dominik Santorski-xXxX~~_

Light… Wtf, was I in heaven? No. Fucking. Way. I-I was alive. I slowly and painfully opened my eyes. I tried to sit up and groaned in pain, I was pushed back down. "Mrs. Kirkland, You need to rest." A nurse said. "Mrs. Kirkland?" I asked, my voice raw and hoarse. "Yes, Your husband and his friends checked you in. I'm sending your husband in right now." The nurse said smiling slightly and opening the door, letting England in, then leaving us alone. "Why am I checked in as 'Mrs. Kirkland'?" I asked, barely being able to concentrate due to my killer migraine. "Will you marry me?" He asked. "N-no way! You never cared about me…" I said closing my eyes, hoping my head would hurt less. "Oh, Y/N. You were to dense to see how much I love you. You were in a coma for 1 month, 1 month of waiting to ask… now yes or no?" He said holding my hand. I sighed, I guess I did kind of over look everything he's done for me, how much he cared. "fine" I said quietly. He smiled and put a ring on my finger. "I love you Y/N!" He said kissing me. "I love you too, Arthur." I said. Some how he managed to get on the bed, he straddled me, grinding his hips into mine while we happily made out; a couple moans escaping our lips. "Mr. Kirkland!" The nurse shouted. Arthur gasped and jumped off the bed. "I-I'm sorry…" He said blushing crimson red. "Never do that again." She said sternly. I giggled. Suddenly America, Canada and France came in. "4 at a time." The nurse said exiting the room.

"Y/N!" America screamed running over to me and hugging me. "Ah, we were so worried, ma cherie." France said smiling. "Y/N… I-I'm happy your still alive." Canada said quietly, back to his quiet normal self. "Did you say yes!?" America shouted finally letting go of me. I nodded and smiled slightly. "C-congratulations" Canada said hugging me. "Thank you, Mattie. Will still be here for me?" I asked. "We all will, love!" England said in a cheerful tone that shocked the fuck out of me. "Thank you." I said laying my head on the pillow. "If you ever need advice about _games~ _for you and Angleterre, let me know." France said picking my hand up and kissing it lightly. "Don't touch her you twat!" England shouted. "Temper… the 'Black Sheep of Europe' has to calm down, mon petit Angleterre." France said smirking. "Wanker!" England said strangling him. God… what had I gotten myself into?

Weeks passed and other country's had come to visit me. China brought me a baby panda, Russia gave me 13 big sunflowers, Romano gave me a crate full of tomatoes, Spain gave me a blessed cross for protection, Italy brought me pasta everyday, Japan secretly brought me hentai (manga if ya don't go that way), Germany gave me a cross just like his, Prussia gave me Gilbird's _awesome _brother, Belarus gave me a set of knives, Austria played music for me, Hungary looked at Yaoi with me (live with it if you don't like it), Switzerland gave me an AK47, Liechtenstein gave me hair bows… and all the others paid their dues with socializing, laughter, and money. Finally I was able to leave the hospital within another month after my awakening from that coma. But the thing was, I was forced to go to a psycho ward. This. Was. Fucked.

All was good until having to go to that psycho ward. I swear, they make you feel worse than you already do. I was sick of it, they treated me like shit. They told me I was weak and useless for attempting suicide, that I cause others pain. But the one that made me snap was when they told me that Arthur didn't love me, that he only felt bad for me, that he had actually said this with his own words. I was done. After dinner they made us go back to our rooms. I sat there and remembered what I told Arthur before I left to the ward, "I will rise above this, Iggy. I'll call your name when I'm feeling helpless… but I'll rise above this!" A tear slid down my cheek, I sighed and pulled the knife set that Belarus had given me out from under my bed. I slit my wrist as deep as I could, blood gushing out. I decided to write a short note, blood stained, in the last moments. I slowly put the pen down, my vision becoming blurry with tears and loss of blood. That was the end. I saw nothing.

"What do you mean she killed herself!?" Arthur shouted at the man standing at the door. "Calm down Mr. Kirkland. She slit her wrist. She had this letter next to her and it was addressed to you." The man said handing the letter to Arthur who fell to his knees sobbing. "Look, I'm sorry. You can go see her body at the morgue at 3." The man said shrugging. Arthur didn't respond. "Well, I'm leaving dude." The man said turning and walking away from him. Arthur finally worked up the nerves to read the note:

_Arthur, I love you. I always will. I'm sorry. Please remember me, even if you don't love me. I'm sorry._

_Love or not: F/N L/N_

"No!" Arthur sobbed throwing the note down. "Why would you do this!?" He said quietly. He stood up and walked inside; he sat down on the couch and continued to cry. He couldn't believe she was actually gone. His love. He lost his colonies… now his love. What more could happen? He felt useless. That night he drank himself senseless, trying to drown out the throbbing pain in his heart.

Everyone had come to the funeral. They all paid their respects and consoled a depressed and hysterical Arthur. After the burial, Arthur had decided to stay. "Dude… You have to go home!" Alfred said trying to pull Arthur away from the grave. "Leave me alone! I want to sleep with her at least once!" Arthur shouted. Alfred sighed and walked away. Arthur had laid a blanket down on the ground right on top of were his love was. He gulped, holding his tears back. Slowly his eyes shut as he drifted off to sleep.

"Y/N?" Arthur choked out. "Arthur… I just needed to tell you that I will always love you." She responded. "Y/N! Don't leave me! You were all I had left!" He responded running towards her. "I'm actually happy now, Iggy. Hopefully, you'll one day be able to see me again." She said touching Arthur's cheek. A tear went down his cheek, "That won't happen! I-I can't die!" He shouted hugging onto Y/N. She sighed, "Arthur… I'll visit you every night then. I love you, and I want you happy." She said as she lifted his chin and kissed him.

Arthur awoke just as the kiss ended. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, "I love you too, Y/N. I always will, no matter what. No matter how much time passes. Always." Arthur said he stood up, seeing the sun was rising. He left Y/N's favorite flowers on her grave and sighed. He slowly walked away. His heart still ached, but the promise of seeing her every night made it hurt less. He exited the cemetery with a heavy heart and mind, yet he still smiled the next day when he saw the others. Y/N wanted him happy. And if that's what she wanted, he'd be happy.

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**Okay! Hope you liked it! Like I said... I suck at point of views :s Hope not too OOC (Very self-conscious writer here). Don't you just love Dominik Santorski!? I still cry... If you don't know who he is, watch the movie **_Suicide Room / Sala Samobójców._ **It's a Polish movie that premiered in Warsaw *starts laughing like a psycho thanks to Feliks*! Um, I decided to give Spain's Spanish a try; It's really different than my Spanish (Mexico). Please tell me the Spanish is right! If your thinking about suicide, please talk to me, I'm always here. I know the horrible feelings. The part where I said "I'll call your name when I'm feeling helpless… but I'll rise above this." is a part of the song** _Rise Above This_ **by: **_Seether._ **Check out the song, super nice; It was dedicated to Shaun Morgan's (Lead singer's) brother who committed suicide. Also the other part where I said "...Find a place to leave my hurt behind." Is from the song **_Alone I Break_ **by: **Korn**.** **~~And... **_**Suicide Room;** _**_You Will Watch It, Da?_ ^J^**


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